


How To Punch Your Captain In The Face (And Not Get Discharged)

by musikat18



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: And Jim has the best ass in space, F/M, Fluff, It's canon babes, Nerds are in love, This is more like a long drabble, which is fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 13:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musikat18/pseuds/musikat18
Summary: Pavel reveals something about the captain that you didn't know before, and you have to come to the decision whether or not he deserves the comeuppance you've been waiting so long for.





	How To Punch Your Captain In The Face (And Not Get Discharged)

It all started on a day. You weren’t quite sure– time was a hard thing to keep track of in space– but that day, it had started over lunch with little Pavel Chekov.

“You’re much braver than I,” he laughed. “I would have never had the courage to do that in Academy.”

“When a superior has a nice ass, he has a nice ass, okay?” you noted. “Plus, it helps to be best friends with his star student.”

“Aye, you’re welcome for that.”

“What about you?” you took a break, sipping replicated soda, “Ever done something sneaky, Pavel?”

“Well, I never got the proper credit for it,” he rubbed his neck, “but I know who hacked the Kobayashi Maru when you programmed it.”

“Really?” your eyebrows shot up. You had heard someone had been punished for it, but the word had never reached you; you had been working on the finishing touches of the graduate ships during the hearing.

“Aye,” Pavel nodded, “it was me.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yes, but I didn’t do it for me.”

“Obviously,” you said. “But if you didn’t want you to do it, who did?”

Pavel sunk in his seat and hid his mouth in his cup as his eyes drifted to the opening doors of the mess hall. 

_ Captain James Tiberius Kirk. _

“…oh, fuck me,” you glared. 

“I do not think that is within regulation.”

“Not like that, you little floof,” you began aggressively poking at your salad. “I have been waiting forever to figure out who screwed up my big shot at getting head analyst for my assignment. That whole hacking incident is the whole reason Spock just shoved me in bridge engineering!”

“I-I’m sorry,” Pavel suddenly looked guilty, wilting like a dying sunflower, “I didn’t know that.” You softened; Chekov had no intention to hurt you or anyone. The poor kid just wanted to help.

“No, don’t be upset, it’s not your fault Jim was kind of a dickhead.”

“So, are you going to confront him about it?” Pavel chewed his mac and cheese. You paused for a moment, watching your captain cheerfully replicate some lunch and sit down to eat. 

“Maybe? Probably?” you asked. 

Jim was a good guy; you couldn’t deny that. Sure, he wasn’t always the brightest or most sensible bit of jewelry in the box, but he always meant well.

So how can you bring yourself to punch your captain in the face without getting discharged?

\--

_Maybe I can just…do it…then launch myself into space,_ you thought as you typed away at your console. _No one will notice I’m gone…probably. No, nope. That’s so dumb. Get it together, Y/N, you’re smarter than this._

“Lieutenant?” you jumped in your seat at the voice of the captain in question. “I’m sorry if I’ve startled you, but may I have a word? Privately?”

You pretended you didn’t give Chekov a look of panic as you nodded and allowed yourself to be corralled out to the corridors.

“Ensign Chekov told me about the…farther-reaching consequences of my decision to ask him to help me cheat of the Kobayashi Maru. I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t know you had invented the algorithm to make that test as hard as it was,” Kirk said, blue eyes sincere.

“It’s your fault for being a prick…sir,” you blurted out. Wow, you were going to get discharged without even touching him. 

“Yeah, I kind of was,” he laughed, “I took that test three times because of you…pretty sure Bones was about to maul me over it.”

“That is the job of an adaptational training algorithm.”

“So, if you have anything you want to say to me about it, I’m all ears,” he smiled. You simmered for a moment, all those angry feelings ready to bubble up and give your captain a fresh black eye, but after a moment, you screwed up your face and let out a yell.

“STOP BEING SO UNDERSTANDING, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PUNCH YOU NOW?!”

“If it would make you feel better, go right ahead,” he encouraged. His whole face was shining, like he was trying not to laugh. You snapped your fist out and collided with his shoulder; it wasn’t as painful and rage-filled as you had always expected it would be.

“I’d be happy to discuss your placement with Mr. Spock,” Kirk said with a smile. “Feel free to return to duty…or if you’re too frustrated, just take the rest of the shift off…I don’t know…do whatever makes you comfortable, captain’s orders?” His awkward command pulled a smirk at your mouth in amusement. 

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” you smiled. 

Now that the air was cleared, you could focus on other things about your captain, instead….


End file.
